The results are in....

and I took home two 3rd place trophies, which ain't so bad.

I was a little disappointed in my placing (I could have sworn I had 2nd locked in), but I am not at all disappointed in how I looked or presented myself.  I actually did quite well on stage and was told I seemed a natural with the stage presence and all.  So, I've decided to be happy with third and use the frustration and energy to do better next time.

More later in the week, as I begin to come back to life and get back to a schedule, but I promised you photos, so here ya go!

A lifelong obsession

  

Apparently, I've had a thing for fancy shoes and big shades from a very early age.  Aren't these great!  My mom sent them to me this afternoon, photos of little me that I had never seen.  And it appears I get my sense of style from her - who else's closet and purse would I have been raiding so young?

My big competition is just 2 days away.  The training is done, I have tomorrow off work to take care of last minute appointments (hello, spray tan!) and a bit more posing practice, and I find myself with a little bit of downtime at home this evening.  A luxury these days.


I've pushed myself in so many ways these past couple months, physically and mentally, and while I might not be able to technically say that I've loved every minute of it, I kind of have loved every minute of it.


Physically, I'm in near-peak condition.  I honestly didn't believe I'd ever get my legs to look like they do today.  Ever.  I'm as healthy and as fit as I've ever been in my life.  While I may not want to walk around quite this lean and muscled every day, I now see just what I can do with my body (what we can all do with our bodies), with the right knowledge, discipline, and determination.


Mentally, I've surpassed the level of discipline and determination I knew I had.  I've always been pretty focused when I wanted to be, but this took EVEN MORE!


And I'm pushing my boundaries, my personal comfort levels.  Being in the gym, training, I'm comfortable with that.  Showing it off in the way I must on Saturday, that's a stretch for me.  And putting myself in the position of being judged like that, officially, also a stretch.


As of this moment, the excitement has surpassed the nerves.  I anticipate they'll return in force in the next 48 hours, but I think I've got the wherewithal to get through them.

I'll let you know how it goes!

I've been busy

I haven't been ignoring y'all for no reason.  Seems my world, my life, my....well, everything, is about my upcoming competition.  2 weeks from tomorrow.  gulp.  Things are looking good.  I like my back.  I like my arms.  I like my abs.  Still working on that lower half.


Here's a peek at where I am two weeks out.  Not my fave photos or poses, but I'm using this is a way to  keep myself honest and on track - keep myself working toward the goal.  I don't have my fancy suit yet, but I do have the shoes!

 

And definitely still working on my posing.  I had a lesson last Friday in How To Walk.  Think model walk.  Swish the hips, roll the shoulders, look natural but command attention while simultaneously flexing the legs with each step, keeping the abs tight, smile, but not in a too-fake-way.  Um, I'm quite certain there was more to it, but I'm at a loss at the moment.


I'm also experimenting with fake tans so I can be browner than a berry in two weeks.  The first is just about worn off.  It was not the exact color I was hoping for, so back to another salon with a different solution this weekend for another try.

Go Figure

I may not be a sports fan, but I am big on health and fitness.  And while I never attend football or baseball (or soccer) games for fun, I did recently find myself at another kind of fitness event I had never imaged ~ a bodybuilding show.

I was there for my husband.  No, not because he was on stage, oiled up and flexing his muscles, but because he had coached someone to compete in one of the women's categories.  Did you know there were different categories at bodybuilding shows?  For women, no less? I didn't.  Oh, my husband had tried many times to tell me all about the competitions and the various levels and the fact that not all the women are the huge she-male, musclebound, unfeminine type, but I wouldn't believe it until I saw for myself.

Lo and behold, there they were - lots of women who looked like women, all (or most, at least) in fabulous shape.  Depending on the level at which they were competing, they were in different states of leanness and muscle size and definition, but, with the exception of a couple freaky-weird people I'm still not convinced were actually women, they didn't look alien to me.  They didn't look like women trying to be men.  In fact, they looked quite good.  In further fact, I was a little jealous.  (Lethal combination of competitiveness and vanity kicking in.  Damn.)

My husband has been trying to convince me to enter a competition for some time and train to get myself into prime physical shape.  I've resisted so far.  It's not that I don't want to put myself through the training required; I actually love the idea of pushing myself, mentally and physically, to get into such shape.  I've resisted for two reasons:


1) I had the image of a true female bodybuilder in mind and I have no desire to get into that kind of physical shape.  I like being a girl and looking like one.  I like my muscles just about the size they are, thank you very much.


2) I just cannot imagine myself parading across a stage in a bikini and high heels, oiled up and tan, with a full face of makeup and hair blown out in a big do.  SO NOT ME!


So, what did I find when I actually attended a show?  Oh, yes, I did feel a little odd-man-out even in the crowd.  Many of the female attendees were nearly as made up as the contestants and were wearing tight jeans, heels, revealing tops, and there I was in my cute vintage blouse, black pants and converse sneakers.

In truth, though, it wasn't as bad as I thought.  As far as the contestants went, there were women who looked like men but there were also women who looked like gorgeous, fit women.  There were women who were so spray tanned that they looked orange or green-brown, but most could actually walk down the street without turning heads.  There were quite a few women who were so made up and had such big hair that they looked like  muscled beauty pageant contestants, but there were a few who looked more like the gal who lives next door with a little extra blush and lip gloss.

So I'm thinking......maybe this would be fun, maybe this is something I should do before we move......maybe, maybe, maybe.  I'd choose the Figure Competition level, which means being super lean and being judged solely on muscle symmetry and tone (not size - meaning, no huge bulging bodybuilding muscles).

I actually started the diet and training a couple weeks ago to get myself into shape, just in case, and now I'm just about ready to register for a competition in San Francisco in October.  Gulp.  Will I actually do it?  Stay Tuned.

Speaking of those goals...

Just had a conversation with Kiefer:

Me (speaking with a hint of giddiness in my voice): Do you realize we'll have 2 weeks of no working out?
Him: What do you mean? 
Me: In Europe, on our trip, we'll be gone for 2 weeks.
Him: So.
Me: So, we won't be going to the gym.
Him:  Why wouldn't we be going to a gym? There are gyms in Vienna...gyms in England, too.
Me: And we'll go to them? 
Him: Um, yea (slightly exasperated tone).
Me: To work out?
Him:  Yea (again with the tone).  And, actually, it's really important that we check out the gyms while we're in Vienna so we can find out what the situation is like before we move.  It could be a deal-breaker.
Me: Oh. Um. Right.

All kidding aside, I have actually been thinking about this for a few days.  I recently embarked on a new workout plan to get in shape for a Figure Competition .  I don't think I'm actually going to compete (really can't see myself spray-tanned, sporting a bikini and heels onstage), but I do want to be in that kind of shape.  I've been working hard for just two weeks now and I was, I kid you not, thinking that it'll be a shame to lose the momentum while we're out of town.  I laughed at myself when I considered this because I am actually going a few steps beyond my normal diligence with that thought.  But it did cross my mind.  It didn't occur to me, however, to think of ways in which I wouldn't have to break my routine.  It did occur to my husband, which shouldn't surprise me.

This brings me to the other question that has been on my mind.  What is the fitness situation like in Vienna?  Are there gyms like there are here?  Small gyms? Big corporate gyms? Is there a fitness culture?  Do people work out much?  Are the gyms open early/late/all the time?  I like to go to the gym first thing in the morning.  Kiefer likes to go late at night.  Will we be able to keep our routines?

For Kiefer, having access to a gym and the ability to work out daily is essential, personally and professionally.  My career and livelihood is not tied to the fitness industry, as his is, but health and fitness is an integral part of my daily life.  How much of our lifestyle, if any, will have to change?  Will we be oddballs or will we fit in better there than we do here (being more focused on health and fitness than a lot of the general population around us)?  

All I know is that I'll be packing my workout gear and my iPod, that part of our exploration will be to find a fitness center that offers day or guest passes and that I'll probably feel a whole heck of a lot better doing that than I would if I didn't workout for an entire two weeks.

I do draw the line at sticking to my strict no-carb diet on the trip.  I will most certainly be partaking in all the glorious food and drink that Vienna has to offer.  Which means that finding a gym may be even more important!

P.S.  Gyms/Fitness Centers doesn't seem to be a major topic in any of my Vienna Guidebooks, so if anyone in the city has a recommendation, please don't hesitate to share!  Danke shon.

Goal....keep an eye on the goal.

I had to make a "big" decision today.  Do I go to yoga this morning or not?  I love my yoga class - I love the class, the teacher, the progress I've made with my Bird of Paradise, and I love it as part of my Saturday Morning Routine.

Recently, though, I set myself new fitness goal and the schedule I need to follow to meet this goal requires me to hit the gym today for a shoulder/bicep weight workout and a bit of cardio.  It also means I've been at the gym every day this week lifting weights and doing cardio workouts.  And, boy, does my body feel it!  I love my yoga class, but it is quite a workout in itself.  To attempt both yoga and my workout today would be too much.

So, yoga, I love you, but I'll have to come back to you.  Perhaps I'll be able to take on more next Saturday, but in the meantime, I'm going to revel in the fact that I'm making this decision without too much hemming and hawing and worrying about whether it's the "right decision to make."  I'm just going to grab my iPod and go.

Changing Tenses

Yesterday, I ran the best I have run in months.

I am scheduled to run a half-marathon in little more than a month, but regardless of the impending deadline, I haven't been able to muster any motivation whatsoever.  I've been half-assing it - not eating right, not training midweek, and not even really running when I'm out running, if that makes any sense.  Nine months ago, I was averaging 7:30 - 8:00 min/miles for 13+ miles.  These days, I'm lucky if I can sustain 9:30 min/miles for five.

My old m.o. was to strap on my NikePlus monitor, put it on the pace setting and run to keep at my chosen pace.  I pushed myself during my runs, never wanting to back down, never giving less than all that I had at the moment.  These days, though, I rarely check the pace.  The monitor stays on the distance setting and my primary thought has been "how much farther do I have to go" rather than "how much faster can I go."

When the hell did I get so passive??  When did I get to the point that I thought I could forego training, diet, and preparation and, despite this, decent results would magically appear on my longer Sunday runs?

And what, you're wondering, am I doing babbling on about all this here?

Notice the lack of posts lately?  Maybe one a week for the past few weeks - after the active surge for the first month or so.  Passiveness has left the isolated realm of running and reared its ugly head in other parts of my life!  The blog post ideas haven't come as frequently as before, I've already written about the things I'm doing right at this moment, so, well, I just sit here, waiting for The Next Big Blog Post Idea to fall out of the sky and land in my lap as I sit on the couch and watch yet another episode of The Gilmore Girls or Grey's Anatomy.  Ugh.

Last week, I ate right, followed my special diet, trained all week, and come Sunday had a great run.  I increased my distance by 2 miles and my pace by about 30 seconds a mile.  This still only puts me at 9:00 min/miles for 9 miles, but the best part is that I felt like I was really running the whole time I was running.  I was there, engaged, involved, whatever you want to call it.  I've always called it "active running."

So now it's time to take this whole passive-to-active thing and get my butt in gear with my writing, posting, learning, planning.  I wish I could say that the switch has been flipped to the ON position, just like that.  For a few hours yesterday I thought maybe it had, but it's not quite there.  I'm on a dimmer switch, apparently, and the change isn't quite that dramatic.

What last week did remind me through my running, though, is that the dream of the good result without the work just isn't going to cut it.  If I want this to work, if I want my blog to be interesting or entertaining or relevant in some way, if I want the move to Vienna to happen, if I want to be able to find meaningful work, if I want to learn German, if I want to take full advantage of all there is to do in the Bay Area before we leave - I've got to get my passive ass in gear, not only literally, but figuratively, and make it all happen.