Turning Excitement into Exploration

At the moment, the Vienna move doesn't seem real. I imagine I'll go through this often throughout the year, but maybe disbelief will mark only this first phase, before anything has really been done or decided or scheduled. When it's still a lot of talk and not a lot of actual doing.

In fact, rolling thoughts of these "doings" over and over in my mind paralyzes me sometimes.

I had a bit of a panic attack earlier this week because the possibility of finding work, obtaining work visas and a residence permit seems just plain out of reach. And without these, there is no move. I got a bit doomsday about the whole thing and Kiefer had to talk me back from the "there's no point, there's no way, it's too hard and we'll never make it work" ledge. I like to think of myself as an optimist, but short bursts of extreme cynicism are the way I maintain a rose-colored outlook for the long haul. So, I don't know what that makes me. A cynoptimist? What we've realized, thankfully, is that while we each have these bouts of disbelief and doubt, they seem to come at different times. When I'm negative, K is positive and vice versa, so we keep each other on track.

So how to bring myself back around? I work well in phases, with time-lines. I need some sort of structure and purpose and tasks to put on a To Do list to make things real and manageable. Is there a name I can give this phase? This pre-planning phase in which it's too early to look for an actual job or an apartment, but necessary to think about it? What about the Too-Early-to-get-Freaked-Out-Just-Start-Planning-and-Researching-and-Trust-that-We-Will-Find-our-Way phase? Or, the Remember-that-Just-Because-We-Don't-Have-All-the-Answers-Today-Doesn't-Mean-it-isn't-Going-to-Happen phase? Or, maybe we're in the Turning Excitement into Exploration"phase.

Yes. I think I can work with that. Today, we're in the Turning Excitement into Exploration phase and we get to focus on building relationships, making connections and learning German - things we can do today. See, rose-colored glasses are back on.

Out with the old

Out with the old, in with the new! I had a great time celebrating the new year, having sushi and champaigne with my boyfriend and going dancing with the girls untill the sun came up. I'm excited for a new year to come. A new year means a fresh start filled with opportunities to seize. I will try to be the best person I can be and make some of my dreams come true this year. What are your NY resolutions? These shots were taken while getting dressed some time ago. After that I piled on tights, a cardi, a blazer and a coat. Wish I could just walk outside in this! Love this American Apparal tank, they have the perfect relaxed fit.

And I have a favor to ask you, sweet readers. Could you please, please, please vote for me here?
All you have to do is click on the e-mail you'll receive and you won't get any newsletters or anything! (make sure to check your 'unwanted' file too) Would love it if you would help me with this!

h&m "leather" skirt - american apparel tank top