Huh?
It's true. I miss Florida. Not that I miss the chain restaurants, strip malls, too-short shorts, dark tans, and fake breasts that dominate the landscape, but I do very much miss the no alarm clock, no schedule, lounging, eating, beach, sun, pool, and time with friends that we enjoyed last week. Perhaps instead of saying that I miss Florida, I should just say that I miss vacation.
It was only four short days. You wouldn't think I'd have acclimated to a new schedule, or lack thereof, so quickly. I didn't think that was even possible. Me without a schedule is like.....well, pick something that seems impossible to you, and that's it. But I've been home for four days now and, quite frankly, I have not been keen on picking up where I left off. Getting up in the morning is hard, work is a chore, going to the gym after work has been incredibly difficult to force upon myself. And writing, well, as you can see, there hasn't been much of that going on.
Alas, I made it to the weekend. I made it through the three oh-so-difficult days of work (I jest. The work itself hasn't been that difficult, just having to be there was the hard part). Today, I didn't have to wake up to an alarm clock, I don't have to go to work, I don't actually HAVE TO do anything. And, yet, precisely because I don't feel obligated, today is the day I woke up early. I have already gone to a yoga class, am doing laundry, cleaning, and will get to the gym in a few hours to do my cardio intervals. On top of all that, here I am, writing.
It's not the work, the doing, the having things to do. I'd be lost without a goal, a purpose, a list of tasks to complete. But I am pretty tired of having a set schedule, as in a Monday-Friday, 8:00-5:00 schedule, and a job I am only so-so about. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Ideal? Unrealistic? Vacation stuck on the brain? Not really. My husband does it. Many of the people I met in Florida do so - consulting, contracting, working from home or setting their own schedule with clients. I have the security of a regular paycheck every two weeks and knowing exactly how much money is going to be in that paycheck. They have freedom. I'm grateful for the paycheck, jealous of the freedom.
If I am to be completely honest, though, this is how I would like my life to be in Vienna. I don't want to move there and find myself in a job, Monday through Friday, 8:00 - 5:00. I want to have a flexible schedule, the freedom to move about as I wish, when I wish and really experience the city, the country, other countries. And, no, I am not independently wealthy (darn). So, how to make it a reality?
These are the things that are running through my post-Florida, post-vacation, pre-Vienna mind.
Fun & Sun, Jacksonville Beach, Florida, July 2010
